Judging Yourself Harshly

Just listened to a Love + Radio podcast called “No Bad News.” The hypnotist Larry Garrett told his story of being asked to work with an unlikely and world-hated client. What struck me hard about Mr. Garrett is his knack for being “in the moment” and seeing someone as s/he is right then and there. This struck me because I do that, too, and always think of it as somehow wrong. Now, in this new moment, I see it as a gift.

So, two things here. First, I understand as a human being that I’m gonna tend to judge everyone and everything, putting them in neat little baskets with labels: GOOD. BAD. UGLY. SCARY. IMPOSSIBLE. But there’s no need for that, because I can allow myself to (and here comes my second point) be where and what I am, which for me is a lingerer.

I stay in the moment, as my friend Cindy says, a little longer than the rest of us. And I always feel embarrassed when she says it. I’ve spent almost my whole life feeling embarrassed and apologetic and confused. Sorry, I think, I didn’t mean to…  There’s a whole other post I might write about why many women apologize too much. Today, in this, particular moment, I see something I didn’t see an hour ago. I see it’s OK to be the moment-whore I am. I am that way for a reason, and I’m betting it’s a really good reason.

Once again, I realize. I realize that when I start my day with a prayer, with an acknowledgement that I need help, that over some things I am completely powerless, a whisper into God’s always-tilted-towards-me ear, I very soon wind up with an answer.

It of course involves my (reluctant) letting go of distractions. That’s yet another topic for a new post. Until then, more moments to you, peaceful ones.

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