I was SO attached to the summer. And now, it’s over.
I use the change of seasons to learn again to adjust to things I can’t control. My latest railings are against, among other things, aging, cancer, fall allergies, and government gone amok.
And rude people.
So many people seem to have big control issues. (Never me–ha!) Why do some folks have to drive like maniacs so they can cut in front of me ONE SPACE? What’s going on with those who are constantly IN MY BUSINESS, telling me what I ought to do as if I’m four years old? Those people. And, what about the ones who decide who and who cannot come worship the God of love in the same space as they do?
But, then I remember. I am like them sometimes, and so are you. Perfectly imperfect humans. Unless you’re the Dalai Lama. Or Jesus.
With lots of help from many sources, and because I was in so much emotional pain way back when, I learned mostly the hard way about the fragile balance of controlling: what’s mine -vs- what’s yours to take care of. As a codependent type, I still sometimes struggle (despite all the growth I’ve experienced) with trying not to steer someone else’s ship, or, conversely, letting them steer mine. Then there’s the way I can avoid people (instead of having a conversation) when they’ve overstepped my boundaries. It’s complicated. But I have come really far and generally am free of the huge, hairy, codependent thingy tugging at my heart.
As always, the keys are to keep at it and find (and frequently use) tools–books, meditation, videos, humans who listen, stickies on the mirror, connecting with my inner Artist–anything that helps, because working on your issues should, IMHO, never be done without the perspective of connecting with someone or something outside your messed-up self. I have a growing list of proven (i.e., in my experience) tools here.
There have been healing tools I’ve tried which haven’t worked for me, so my sterling advice is:
Use what works for you
Again, I say: use what works for you. It sounds trite, but I spent too much stress-producing time trying something that I sensed was not for me–another codependent behavior. So, yeah, use what works for you.
Be good to yourself! I’d love to hear about your own journey. Just comment below.
Here are links to a couple of books on my shelf and/or iPad® that have helped save me from myself and from Mother Nature: